A poetic reminder of things to come?
The Day
Written by Semper Fi Reborn
The alarm clock went off,
As it always did.
Flashing: 6:00AM,
So out of bed I slid.
Right to my knees,
To begin to pray,
For all that God,
Would send my way.
After prayer,
I brushed and showered.
Feeling renewed and full,
Of God’s Love and Power.
Thinking of how,
My day would go.
Would it fly by?
Would it crawl slow?
Had a quick bite,
Then out I went,
Not knowing this day,
Would be the end.
For as soon as I kissed,
My wife goodbye,
I heard a trumpet from the sky.
The clouds rolled away,
And there in the clouds.
Was the King of kings,
Angels all around.
Before I could utter a sound,
A sigh,
We were all rejoicing,
In the sky.
I knew that He,
Would come this way.
But never knew,
This was The Day!
Thank you Semper!! You know I pray to the Lord daily, but often times, it is not the first thing I do when I get up in the morning. The first part of your poem actually brought some conviction on me because I am being slack in praying the first thing when I get up and I fully believe in doing that. Thank you for bringing that back to my mind, what is really important. Because I don’t want anything to hinder my hearing that trumpet sound!! Again, this is a keeper!!
Lovely Semper.
The poem’s not bad, but the short lines make it a bit choppy. I understand that if you extended the lines you’d end up with paired couplets, but your word choice is good enough that it might support that form without sounding too rhymy. It would also help your line breaks because you’d have half as many to deal with. Try reading this out loud "as you wrote it", pausing at each line break, and listen to how it sounds. Then, extend the lines and do the same thing again. Listen to how the lines flow more naturally. If something sounds too "rhymy" it sounded that way before, plus choppy, so change the word or enjamb the word with the next line. It’s a good concept and a good first draft…now edit it…trust your ear.
….and keep writing
You hit right. this is the way it will be thank you it so true and beautiful. You captured the beauty of our Lord’s coming.
Super! Very inspiring and uplifting. A good read. Thank you for sharing.
That was so inspirational. That day is coming soon.. God Bless you Semper fi.
Wow. Amazing. Beautiful! I’m having trouble finding the right words…
You paint a truly wonderful picture with your words, Semper.
Puts the shivers on your arms and joy in your heart!
Please never stop sharing your gift!
Yah ! Way !
It is THE beautiful day
I really love the whole concept of this piece but, had some trouble at the ending…Hope you don’t mind a bit of edit? "Clouds" were used too close at the end, well, if you don’t like my edit, just holler Semper, I truly did love your write *^_^*
The alarm clock went off,
As it always did.<rhyme
Flashing: 6:00AM,
So out of bed I slid.<rhyme
Right to my knees,
To begin to pray,<rhyme
For all that God,
Would send my way.<rhyme
After prayer,
I brushed and showered.<rhyme
Feeling renewed and full,
Of God’s Love and Power.<rhyme
Thinking of how,
My day would go.<rhyme
Would it fly by?
Would it crawl slow?<rhyme
Had a quick bite,
Then out I went,<rhyme
Not knowing this day,
Would be the end.<rhyme
{my edit}
{For as soon as I kissed,
My wife goodbye,<rhyme
I heard a trumpet
from the sky.<rhyme}
The clouds rolled away
showing people abound<rhyme
The holiest King
with angels surround<rhyme
Before I could utter
a sound, a sigh,<rhyme
We were all rejoicing,
Up in that sky!<rhyme
I knew that He,
Would come this way.<rhyme
But, I never knew,
That this was The Day!}<rhyme
Wow,all I got to say is that it’s time to get those houses in order!!! Remarkable man,remarkable.
Wow. That’s way better than the poem I posted earlier. Keep writing them poems!
Some people may say "yada, yada, quit posting this ‘God’ stuff", but you never know who might actually be listening (well, looking, in this case).
Got any more poems we haven’t seen yet?